Last Friday, in the middle of Camp Victory, I made a quick trip up to San Antonio for an ultrasound and appointment. The ultrasound was quick and easy, I wrote a nice big 'ol check, and picked up my big box of medicine for our Frozen Embryo Transfer. Before injecting my first shot on Saturday night, I was privileged to be prayed for by a very special group of people who I had spent the week serving alongside. It was a neat and humbling experience. After the immense number of prayers we had during our first round of IVF, I knew I didn't want to take a single shot without presenting our requests at the feet of Jesus. What a kind, loving Savior we serve!
Which brings me to a unique question, that I've already been asked several times. "Y'all want more kids????" It's kind of funny when people ask me that, because deep down I'm wondering if they really want to ask me, "Are y'all crazy???" I usually laugh when people say it and I'm sure I haven't given the best answers to those who ask. Last night, I thought about it and I think I've come up with a good answer. So when people ask, "Y'all want more kids?", my new response will be:
We want to do the will of God.
Plain and simple. We are not doing this frozen transfer because 3 children is not enough for us. We are OVERWHELMING blessed by the 3 beautiful children God has given us. But God also blessed us with 2 frozen embryos in this process. 6 day old embryos that are Tucker, Adelyn, and Colson's genetic siblings. And while I know that this may be a touchy issue or a confusing one, we are simply not comfortable with any other decision other than implanting those embryos. We believe that God has a very special plan for our family, and that includes implanting these two precious "snow" babies.
And yes, I actually DO WANT more kids! I LOVE the idea of more children. I know that makes me sound CRAZY, but I have never felt like I was "done". I see newborns and my heart aches. I always knew we would implant these embryos, so I never cut off the idea of welcoming another baby to the Schoen family. And if my past experience is any indication, every time I try and take control of "planning" our family, God shows up and shows me who's really in control. We have decided to trust God in this area of our life and we are thankful that His plan is ALWAYS better than our own!
SO....READY OR NOT....HERE WE GO!!!
The shots I am right now are designed to "shut down" my system. I have 2 more ultrasounds and some bloodwork scheduled to make sure that is actually happening. Next week, I will start adding some hormones in to get ready for the transfer. Right now, the transfer is scheduled for the week of August 7th, depending on how everything responds.
It's amazing how much calmer I have been during this process. Perhaps, because I've been here before. Perhaps because I have so many other things and people to keep track of. I actually told Derek to make sure I remember to do the shots each night, which is NOT at all how I was last time. 5 years ago, each shot was the MAJOR event to the day! Now, I have 3 other little blessings to chase after and keep up with.
Regardless of where we are and how much life has changed, I know one thing is for sure. I don't want to go through this process with the prayers of others. We are so blessed with a loving family and faith community that have walked beside us through the highs and lows of this process. We are hopeful, excited, and (admittedly) a little nervous about how this process will go and what it will mean for our family. But in all things we do, we trust in a God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine! So thank you for joining us in prayer as we prepare to implant these little "ice" babies! Love you all!!!
"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14
These pictures were actually from our first appointment and consult in San Antonio, but I didn't have time to take a picture this last time!
