The twins are starting kindergarten!

(Insert deep breath, stop for tears, and then attempt to start again)

Seriously though. How did we get to this point? Surely my two itty-bitty tiny babies that I prayed for years and years for cannot be about to start kindergarten. This mama heart is a mess all of time just thinking about it.

Weren't we just gathered in a tiny room praying for your arrival? Weren't we just bringing you home to your nursery and trying to figure out how in the world to keep you alive? How did we arrive at this point?

Isn't motherhood the most ridiculous thing in the world? One minute you they are inside of you and then spend the next year attached to you and somehow, someway, they all of a sudden are just walking away and going to be spending each and every day with someone else.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

I can remember the first year that I brought Colson home and also had two 2 year olds at home. That year was the most PHYSICALLY demanding year of my entire life. I had 3 babies in diapers, cribs, who literally could not do ANYTHING by themselves. I had a baby (or two, or three) in my arms constantly. Opening drinks. Nursing. Wiping booties. Rocking to sleep. I literally had NO TIME to myself. I can remember crying from being so exhausted. Wanting just one minute to myself. Being so unbelievably overwhelmed that I had no idea how to make it from one day to the next.

And in a blink of the eye, everything changed.

In a few short weeks, my two lovies will walk out the door to their next big adventure and all of a sudden, I will no longer be the most needed person in their world. They are strong, independent, confident and brave. They will spend 40 + hours a week away from me. And they will do amazing.

How did we get here?

As much as I know they are ready for this, my mama heart isn't quite there yet. I am excited for them. They will have so much fun. New adventures every day. New friends. New fun. They will thrive. But I sure will miss them. Life with them is a HUNDRED times better than life without them. It will take some time to adjust to our new normal. Which will include being home with just Colson Lukey. Being home with ONE baby will be something TOTALLY new for me. I've never had just one kid at home. Ever. What in the world will we do with our time??? Whatever we do, I know I will not be bored because Colson keeps me on my toes ALL THE TIME!

I am thankful for the time we have got to spend all together this summer. Thankful for the blessing of the past five and half years spent mostly at home with my loves. Thankful for the blessings that God has given us through the gifts of Tucker and Adelyn. Thankful for our move to Mertzon which allows them to have an incredible kindergarten teacher AND to have their daddy as their PE teacher. I'm thankful that we will have a short 5 minute drive to school and that my job will allow me to be the one to take them to school and pick them up. I'm thankful that God chose me to be their mama and that he has allowed me SO MUCH TIME with them the past five and half years. And I'm thankful for all the new wonderful things that He has in store for them in this coming year. It is another year of change for the Schoen household. My mama heart is still aching...but I am praying each and every day for the school year to come.

"There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

               ...a time to weep and a time to laugh,"

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Happy Birthday Colson Lukey!

Our blue eyed boy is now THREE! It's hard to believe that our "baby" is already so big! The past three years have FLOWN by and have been anything but boring!

I tell the twins all the time how much I prayed for them before they were born. Then they always ask me if I prayed for Colson too. And my answer is always the same...God just knew we needed him in our lives. If the twins are answers to many many prayers, then Colson is my sign of God's goodness in my life. I thank God EVERY DAY that He took control and did not let me have things "my way". After the past year and knowing how our frozen embryos ended up, I think about how different my life would have been if God hadn't surprised us with Colson. God's plan FAR EXCEEDED our own and I am so thankful for our sweet baby boy.

Colson Lukey, you are our joy! I can't think about you without a smile on my face. You came into this world and made your presence known so quickly. You are FUNNY, silly, ALWAYS on the go, adventurous, busy, loving, and smart. You seriously keep me on my toes. All day long. You love to be outside, climb on anything and everything that you can, and find a way to get dirty each and every day. Your silly faces, voices, and personality keep us rolling all day long. It is SO HARD to get on to you because you usually make me laugh before I can. You used to be my snuggling baby, but once you got mobile you never stopped. You are strong, courageous, and I have no doubt in my mind that this world is a better place with you in it! Our family would be so incomplete without our Colson Lukey. We love you BIG my blue eyed boy!