And He will give you the desires of your heart...: In with the NEW...

It's been awhile since I blogged. Probably the longest I've ever gone in between blogs. Life has been a little hectic...to say the least. My three keep me on my toes each and every day. Throw in teaching and a coaching husband and I rarely have a moment alone. And when I do...I am usually sitting down on the couch relaxing!!!

Another reason I have failed to blog is because life has just been HARD lately. Especially since going back to work. There are some days when I can hardly catch my breath. Other days, I look up and realize I haven't even brushed my hair all day. There have been long nights, rough days, and a lot of times when I have just been overwhelmed. I hate to admit how hard it's been. How often I've failed. How many times I have lost my temper or found it hard to find joy. And in times like that, it's hard to blog.

But the TRUTH is that some days are just gonna be hard. Three under three is a BIG job. And while it IS overwhelming, I have to remember that I will only have three under three for ONE YEAR. And it's more than half-way done!!! I don't know if that makes me more excited or sad!!! Sad that it's going so fast. But also excited to see Colson grow and change. To learn more about him and his personality and see how he fits in our family. The GOOD far outweighs the BAD.

Through all of the changes, God has been working. And with each new adventure comes a host of emotions. Both good and bad. I remember rocking both twins to sleep for the last night in their cribs and just CRYING because I wasn't ready for the rocking stage to be over. Then the next night seeing the excitement and JOY they had over getting to sleep in big kid beds. The transition has taken a few months to adjust to, but I absolutely LOVE getting to lay down and snuggle with them in their beds before they go to sleep. As sad as I was to stop rocking, I don't miss it. The change is good...scary at first...but definitely good.

So what else is new in the Schoen casa?

COLSON is our super baby! Crazy kid started sitting up at 5 months, crawling at 6 months, and is now pulling up at 7 months. All of which is awesome and amazing, but also has made this Mama a little crazy! I forgot how quickly they can get into things at this stage! He has also decided that he loves to eat, and wants to do it pretty much all day. He is definitely our sweetheart and our lives are SO blessed by this sweet addition.

The TWINS are doing awesome as well! They have started mother's day out this year which has been another adjustment but they are doing great and loving it. I am loving a little bit of quiet time on Thursday mornings and afternoons which has been a blessing. They continue to amaze me with how smart they are! They are funny funny kiddos, full of life and energy, and LOVE to play!!!

DEREK has had an AMAZING fall so far! He was chosen as a deacon at our church, which I am SO PROUD of. He is taking two runners to state in cross country for the second year in a row. AND he ran a HALF MARATHON last week! He is an amazing daddy, teacher, coach, and spiritual leader both at home and at school. I am so unbelievably proud of the things God is doing in his life right now that I can't even begin to explain. It is awesome!

Which brings me back to myself. I can honestly say that this has been the hardest beginning of school that I have ever had. It is now week 10 and I just now finally feel like I'm getting it under control. And to be real honest...the summer was a little rough too. The adjustment to three children has really taken its toll on me. And trying to coordinate all of the drop-offs, childcare, laundry, dishes, dinner, and everything else that goes into running a household, all while getting very sporadic sleep at night has been really rough. I've had some of my biggest struggles as a mom, wife, daughter, and friend in the past months. And it's just been rough.

“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness   and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:17-18)

I know that in the past, when I have struggled, it is usually when God is working on my heart. I've been so focused on all the ways that I've been lacking and falling short, that I've been missing the bigger picture. I know that God is doing a NEW THING in my life. Trying to get my attention. Trying to re-focus my heart. Get my priorities straight. Turn my focus to HIM and to the things that HE wants for my life. Not on my own prideful agenda and what I think I should be doing. In one of my struggles, I texted a friend and told her all the ways that I felt I was falling short. She responded (in her amazing wisdom) that all of those things were things I was putting on myself. That all God wanted of me was to:

Act Justly
Love Mercy
Walk Humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

I honestly felt like this was the Holy Spirit speaking directly to my heart, and probably every other woman out there. No ONE is requiring you to be SUPERWOMAN except yourself!!! God especially!!! God wants our heart!!! He only asks that we treat others justly, love mercy, and walk with him. And HE desires to make us NEW!!! To make a WAY through our wilderness, to make a STREAM in our wasteland. What a mighty God we serve!!!

So for now, I am focusing on the good. Looking for the JOY in each new thing that comes our way. And asking God to create in me a NEW heart and a new joy.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Phillipians 4:8)

And I can definitely think of some LOVELY, EXCELLENT, and PRAISEWORTHY things to think about!