No first day of school.
Just typing it out brings tears to my eyes. Happy tears. Ecstatic tears. Tears of joy. Tears of thanksgiving.
Tomorrow starts the first day of my new job. The job that I have dreamed of since I was young. The job that I wondered for 7 years if I would ever get to do. And then prayed for since the day I found out I was pregnant to be able to do. The job that we have saved for, prayed for, budgeted for, worried about, talked about, wondered about, and hoped and dream about.
I am finally going to be a Stay At Home Mom!
And while I've pretty much been doing this job all summer, tomorrow will seem all the more real that it is actually happening. Everyone else will be going off to school and I will be home with my three loves!
I can't even describe how excited I am to see this dream come to fruition. I feel super blessed and fortunate to have spent the last three years working part-time and getting to spend my mornings with my kiddos. But nothing beats not having to leave the house and go to work five days a week. Nothing.
The past two weeks have been a little "taste" of what our lives will be like with Daddy at work and us three at home. I will say this...my "dream" job is NOT at all easy. Staying home with three kids age three and under is by far the HARDEST job I've ever done! I've questioned my decision at least daily, wondered how in the world I am going to survive, and if this really is what's BEST for my kiddos. Are we really going to be able to survive on one income? What if something comes up? What if there's a medical emergency? What if? What if? What if?
But even with all the doubts and craziness, I know this is exactly what God wants me to be doing. I can already see the difference me being home makes with my kiddos. Adelyn especially is thriving with Mommy home. She's my quirky child...free-spirited, full of sass, full of life. She's also the one that struggles the most with baby-sitters, has a hard time with change, and changes her likes and dislikes daily. My sweet sunshine girl is thrilled to have Mommy home. She loves Mommy snuggles, helping Mommy cook, and extra attention. Precious girl. If she is the only benefit to this new situation, then it is TOTALLY worth it.
And part of me is also really loving watching God provide. We took a huge leap of faith when I quit my job, not quite knowing how we were going to make ends meet. We talked and prayed and looked at things from every possible angle that we could. And we both felt that God was leading us out into "uncertain" waters where we may not know the answer to every question or scenario that may come up. Which is extremely hard for this crazy control freak!
But....we've already seen God answer our prayers in so many different ways. Why stop trusting him now? Our God is way bigger than any doubt, fear, or worry that Satan can throw my way. Our God created LIFE in this barren body of mine! He is so so good! And He loves us so so much! What a privilege it is to trust in Him with our finances and children, and sit back and watch Him provide. And of course, His ways are always way better than our own!
So tomorrow, instead of getting dressed in teacher clothes, setting up my room, and taking attendance, I will be taking three kiddos to the park, laying them down for naps, and making chocolate chip cookies. I will probably do a few loads of laundry, clean their bathroom, and vacuum the living room. I'm sure it will be a long day. I am already praying for wisdom and guidance, for gentleness and kindness to be present in our home, and for me to love my children with God's love. I am unbelievably blessed to wake up and start my dream job tomorrow! What a mighty God we serve!
"He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." Psalms 113:9
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