It was a little rough!
We survived though! We made it through the week without any major catastrophes. Everyone was fed each day. Everyone was dressed most of the time. We all took naps through the week. We had some Grammy and Grumpy help and some AWESOME meals from sweet ladies at the church. We survived.
But it was a little rough on this mama. Harder than I actually thought it would be. I shed some tears. Had some harsh moments with my littles that I regret. Said things I shouldn't have. Was frustrated. And a little overwhelmed. The truth is...
Being a mom is HARD!
I don't know why we don't like to admit that. Motherhood is a hard, tiring, never-ending calling. Sure it is the BEST blessing that I have ever received. But is also the hardest job that I have ever had to do. Three kids under three (really under 2 years 1 month) is A LOT. It's a lot to handle. I think just having 2 two-yr-olds would have been a lot on it's own. Throw in a newborn, having to get up at night, a coaching husband, and crazy hormones and life is a little wild around our house. There are times when I think I just can't do it.
Which is exactly the point.
Being a mom to three under three is more than I can handle. I don't know how other moms do it. I just know that I can't do it. Not on my own anyways. Which is what God wants from me. He doesn't want me to handle it on my own. HE wants me to CRY out to Him, turn to Him, RUN to Him, need Him. He wants to be our comfort and provider. He wants to be our encourager and our support.
Why we feel like we have to do it on our own is beyond me. I fall into the trap everyday. Trying to do it all, be everything to everybody, and act like I have it all under control. When in reality, I need to fall apart and be broken to allow God to work. To allow others to help. To allow grace to multiply.
When times are hard, God give me Jesus.
When I'm frustrated with my littles...help me show them your grace.
When I feel like I can't get up in the night one more time...God give me your strength.
When I'm lonely and missing my husband, God comfort me with your love.
When I'm discouraged with myself...God encourage me through your word.
When I just don't feel like I'm doing a good job...God show me yourself to me through your actions.
More than anything God, cover me with your grace.
My prayer all week was for God's grace to abound in our house. This is an area that I struggle with more than others. I have a HARD time showing grace to others. I'm demanding. Hard. Harsh at times. Ugly. I don't offer grace when I know I should. Especially towards my husband and children. So my prayer all week was for extra grace. Grace for the twins when my patience ran thin. Grace for my husband when I snapped at him. For grace to fill our home and my heart when times were hard.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
It was a hard week... but it was just one week. And at the end of the week I have...
A husband that works tirelessly hard so that I can stay home. That comes home on the weekend and plays non-stop with the twins. Who takes the outside, takes them to the park, and makes the backyard look amazing for them to play. Who takes Colson at 6:00 in the morning so that I can sleep one more hour. And who looks pretty darn cute doing it all.
Two twins who keep me laughing all the time. Who wake up in the morning with smiles on their faces. Who love me inspire of my failures and shortcomings. Who cheer "Yay Mama!" and "You did it!" when I pump milk for Colson (seriously so cute). Who shower Colson with love and kisses and love to check on him. Who love to read, color, cook and love to be my "helpers". Who remind me each day of what an awesome God we serve.
A sweet baby Colson. Who we still have no idea who he looks like. Who is a complete Mama's Boy and melts my heart each day. Who is the BEST eater and has already outgrown his newborn clothes and diapers! And who is already a good sleeper and only wakes me up twice a night for milk and cuddles.
And friends and family that are uplifting and helpful. Friends that bring over meals, text or call to check on us, and encourage me when its hard. Parents that come and help with nap-time, bath-time, or bed-time when Derek is gone to track. Sweet friends and family that love us so much and are the hands and feet of Jesus in my life.
I am so unbelievably BLESSED...even on the hardest days. And I know these days will not last forever. This weekend has been one of renewal and refreshing and I am ready for the week to come with my three under three. Our God is so good and He provides in all circumstances. His mercies are new every morning. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
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