TOMORROW IS THE DAY!
I wish I could say I was 100% confident in what the results will be, but the truth is...I'm not. I'm anxious, nervous, ready...ALL OF THE THINGS! I have that same feeling of panic that I felt the last time we were in these shoes and I realized that I had laid EVERYTHING OUT for the world to know and suddenly wanted to take it all back. There is something about blogging this process that is very therapeutic, but also makes me feel EXTREMELY vulnerable...especially when we come up to the "BIG" moment.
Part of me thinks it would be easier to go in and test tomorrow if no one knew what we were going through. That way if the test was negative, I didn't have to come back here and break the news. That thought looms in my head. What would I say? How will I say it? Will I still be able to give God the glory, even if the answer is no? Will I still be able to say God is good? My hope is that those answers are "yes" but my heart wonders how it will feel.
I also worry because we have included our children in this process, this time around. Tucker and Adelyn know that we put "babies" in Mommy's tummy. They have prayed constantly for those babies to grow. Adelyn has been praying for a baby sister for about a year. What if the first time they really and genuinely pray for something, the answer is "no"? How do I as a parent handle that? I think I fear telling them "bad" news worse than I fear hearing it myself. I can't even imagine.
IN all things, I (try) to hold on to the HOPE we have. Our HOPE is that the answer tomorrow is "YES!" Our prayer is that God has allowed those embryos (or embryo) to hold on, implant, and grow and develop. Our COMFORT in sharing this story is that we don't have to go through tomorrow alone. That we have friends and family all around that will be lifting us up in prayer. As scary as it is putting it all out there, there is nothing better than knowing that you have people petitioning the Father on your behalf.
So our prayer tonight, is that tomorrow is a GOOD day. Our prayer is that we get the call that we have one (or two) precious babies growing in my belly. Our prayer is that God answers the desire we have to have another child and that we get to hear the answer "YES" tomorrow. And we COVET your prayers between now and then on our behalf.
And the truth is...no matter what tomorrow brings...God Is Still GOOD. Our family will still praise Him, no matter what may come. But for now, we will pray that tomorrow we are celebrating another ANSWERED prayer!
"This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." I John 5:14
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